This Slate article is one of the funniest pieces I’ve read since Emily Yoffe’s last article, whenever/whatever that was. 🙂
Here’s a preview:
The Bride of Frankensteer
My 2,000-pound steer falls in love.
By Jon Katz
Posted Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, at 12:03 PM ET
Elvis settled in remarkably well, given that I’ve never had a steer before. An intensely social creature, he reminds me a bit of Shrek: All he wants, besides grass, is love and attention, yet everyone flees at his approach. Which is understandable. Whenever someone opens the gate, no matter where in the pasture Elvis is, he comes thundering down the slope toward his visitor.
It’s a true test of nerves. Elvis weighs nearly 2,300 pounds: It isn’t easy for him to slow or stop. He leaves skid marks. I’ve taught him to “stay” (more or less) when I approach, but once or twice he’s gotten overexcited, swung his huge head, and sent me sprawling. He shows remorse, leaning over to lick me with his enormous, drooly tongue, like a two-story Newfoundland.