the inevitable 2/14 post

You all knew it was coming. And here it is — my blog post in un-tribute to February 14th.

Contrary to what some might believe (perhaps, in part, because of this post), I do totally respect and understand the fact that many people enjoy doing sweet things on Valentine’s Day (hereafter, 2/14). Really, I do. I say that because, up until about a decade ago, I was one of those people. Even in more recent years, I’ve allowed myself to enjoy this day for what it is. So please, don’t go thinking I’m a bitter ol’ cynic because I don’t anticipate 2/14 with the energy and enthusiasm some others might.

I’m really not a cynical person. I’m quite fond of the cheesy and predictable sappy chick flick (though I will contend until the day I die that Julia Roberts did NOT deserve Hugh Grant, ugh), and am even more fond of the sappy chick flick with the unexpected ending. There was a time, shortly after my biggest 2/14 heartbreak (thank you, 1996), that I could have truthfully been called cynical and bitter. At that time, it became common for me to add to most anything I said, “But I’m not bitter” — and it fit!

(Aside: The last line of this blog post was my attempt at humorous reference to that. In case you thought I was insinuating that people who had other plans were in some way scheming to make my life miserable. Because who among us has time to plot misery in the lives of others? Seriously?)

Time has a funny way of healing the wounds, though, and I can say today that I do have a soft side. It’s not excessive, no, but it’s there.

2/14 inspires something different though. I don’t dread the day because of the bad memories and experiences … I’ve just found that, when unchecked, my expectations tend to fly wildly out of control, and all things being what they are, 2/14 is one of the worst days for out-of-control expectations. For me, it just works better to move the sap to a different day. That’s my choice, my perogative, my way. I don’t begrudge anyone their desire to have flowers or cards or whatever on 2/14. I just am not one of those people. Give me flowers on the 11th, and by God, you become my hero — because I wasn’t expecting it, and hence am completely surprised by the thoughtfulness inherent in the spontaneous giving of flowers.

For me, romance is something you do when nobody expects it. I love surprising people with little, thoughtful moments — a card, an e-mail, a little present in the mail. Flowers just to cheer someone up. Those things are what bring me joy.

I don’t think 2/14 is a conspiracy and I don’t dread the commercialism of it all. I just prefer the expressions of love that come without a reminder on every printed calendar sold in stores.

So to all you lovers out there — have a wonderful 2/14 because it’s a gorgeous day and you’re happy to be with the person you’re with. To all you singletons out there, have a wonderful 2/14 because it’s a gorgeous day and good things happen to those who love themselves and love their lives.

And on a more personal note to Daniel, thank you SO MUCH for not making this day a big deal … at least, not seriously! 🙂